Paper Thoughts

Today I finished reading Paper Towns, I don't know how I feel about it. It wasn't bad. It wasn't not good. I guess it is fair to say that it was in fact good. Even if I didn't necessarily like the ending, it was good. It was thought through. There were some hard to believe parts, I don't think that people can just change overnight, even if a naked picture of them is being held hostage. Another thing I didn't like was something that is not exclusive to this book. The parents of the main character are both therapists and apparently according to almost every book and movie, they are sort of hippie like, clueless, let's-talk-about-how-this-makes-us-feel, likable idiots. I don't know which psychologists/therapists/psychiatrists these people are hanging out with but I know that 99% of them are nothing like this. 99% of them do not try to diagnose every single person they come in contact with for more than a second. 99% of them don't think that they are better than everyone else just because they have studied psychology/psychiatry extensively, that's not to say they don't think they're better than everyone else for other reasons, but it rarely is because of their job. So that annoyed me, luckily they weren't a huge part of the book.

When I was in high school I knew that high it wasn't where it was at for me. I had to go because it's the law and because you can't skip over it on the way to university and the real world, so I went. It was fine, but it wasn't the most important time of my life, I don't think that it really felt like it at all. I knew that when I would leave I was still a kid. I guess maybe a lot of people aren't kids when they leave. Some get married and start families, I always thought it was weird but who am I to call other people weird?

Eating junk in paper towns

Today for breakfast I had a danish and for supper I had a burger, so needless to say my diet is going great. /sarcasm. The eating right is really the hardest part. Well, I haven't been doing great with the actual working out part but I've been doing good.

I also have nothing to say. I just want to read the book...that I'm reading right now...not right now but ummm that I'm in the process of reading. It's John Green's Paper Towns, so far (I'm at around chapter 6, I think) I'm wondering if teenage boys actually call girls "honeybunny" and say things like "you should hit that, she's a sweet honeybunny", I don't really know why I put those in quotes since I doubt they're actual quotes but whatever the quotes stay. Also, I don't like the main girl character, she seems to have no regard for people's property. It really bothers me when people destroy other people's things, it's just so rude. But I'm sure I will learn what her redeeming qualities are soon enough. The book is meant for Young Adults (why do they call teenagers that? People in their 20s are young adults teenagers are not) and it reads like one, it's pretty fast paced, there aren't too many in depth explanations just things happening, that's not a bad thing at all. I can see why teenagers would really enjoy this book I think it's pretty good at describing the feelings of teenagers though I think there is some "adult" in them as there is in many great stories about teenagers. I think that's the whole point. For some reason teens seem to like to watch and read about other teens who seem to have very adult qualities about them. I guess maybe so that they can aspire to be like that. Those characters usually just made me feel incompetent. Anyway, that is my review of the book which I am nowhere near finished reading. I hope that last sentence made some sort of sense.

Soulja Boy Bankruptcy Watch

So while going about the important business of catching up on celebrity gossip I read a story about Soulja Boy and his birthday gift to himself, a $55 million private jet. Now, don't you go judging him for being ridiculous, the jet itself doesn't cost $55 mill. It's only $35 million, but since the jet needs to be personalized, obviously, he is spending an additional $20 million to do just that.

OK.

#1. Soulja Boy is apparently a rapper and a music producer. He is turning 21.

#2. Supposedly he's had successful music career so far.

#3. It is his money.

But.

Fifty Five Million Dollars for a plane? Is he planning to live in the plane? I mean one would assume that if someone feels the need to get a private plane, and pay that much for it, that person expects to use it a lot which means that he has to pay for the crew to operate the thing, he has to pay for the fuel, maintenance, supplies (anything from food to toilet paper), some sort of housing unit, taxes? and more. That stuff adds up. It probably adds up to more than whatever it would've cost him to just rent a private jet every time he really needed it. It just seems a little bit excessive, wasteful and pointless. In my eyes there are only two possible conclusions:

#1. He will go bankrupt within the next ten years.

#2. This is just a big publicity stunt created to garner some attention. Sure, he might've actually gone and looked at planes and discussed all of these plans but he has absolutely no intention to follow through. This would not really be that surprising, this world is full of attention whores and we as a society allow it. Embrace it even.

Now, I don't want to be one of "those" people. The ones who think that rich people should just give all their money away to charities, I believe that if you earned your money you have every right to spend it and not feel bad about it. but. If he has $55 million to get a plane, I feel like it would only make sense for him to make some sort of significant charitable contribution and maybe he has and does on regular basis, I don't know, I really don't know much about him other than he has a really vile song, but I know that I am not the only one thinking that this should happen.

I want to get naked!

I also want this palette:

Sad Panda is sad

Sometimes (often) I have days when I don't even want to say anything to anyone. I know that I have communication issues and I should work on them. I also know that when I try to explain important things to people, they listen to the first two words of what I say and then just assume the rest. I don't remember when I haven't felt misunderstood. I know this sounds like a very dramatic episode of a teenage tv show. It feels like it. I feel like this happens a lot in life, not only in mine, when people decided that because they cannot understand the legitimacy of something they tend to dismiss the idea of it as nothing or a cute hobby. But there you are, and you see that this is what you want and it will take time for anyone else to see the worth of it so you try and you work hard and you try and work hard and try and work hard and everyday people that matter most to you look at you and say "when are you actually going to do something?". Well...never. I guess I will never do the something that seems like a something to you. It would be nice though if you maybe pretended that you have some sort of faith in me though. It would. It's the worst when you feel like you accomplished something, and you're in a good mood and then boom someone opens their mouth and you just feel like crap. And any amount of motivation you had just goes away.

Yeah. It's definitely one of those, I am feeling so sorry for myself days. But I don't think that anyone else will feel sorry for me and someone's gotta do it and I'm all I got. Not to be dramatic or anything. ;)

Kim Kardashian is a spokesperson for pretty people

So. My life is so interesting. Today I skimmed over some article that talked about how Kim Kardashian has psoriasis and apparent;y when she found out she was really sad because people don't understand that she can't have red patches on her skin because people expect her to be beautiful and that's just so hard *pouty face*. Now, as a girl I can understand that having people pick apart every single flaw you may have is not a pleasurable experience, even if you do look like Kim Kardashian, but isn't she the one that put herself in this position? I'm just a bit sick of fame whores complaining about being famous. No one would've cared about Kimmy if she hadn't made and allowed the release of her sex tape. She knowingly used it to become famous, it worked for her former friend Paris Hilton didn't it? I don't really have much more to say on this, other than maybe there should be some rule that automatically forbade any media to report on a person who complains about their fame and money. I don't mean a reasonable complaint like "people go up to my child and say creepy things to him" or whatever I mean like stupid things like this. If you put yourself in a fishbowl, don't complain about people being able to see you in it. But I guess I should say that a lot of times I think people should really follow the rule of "if you have nothing nice to say...." it's one thing to poke fun of person's hairstyle or dress or something, it's another to make fun of their weight or face or something, even if the person is famous and rich.

So yeah, that was the most significant event in my day today. How sad? Actually, I did learn today that people sometimes need to be told what they want or don't want for them to realize it. This is a result of a long story that I will not be sharing but basically I think sometimes people get caught up with excitement of "stuff" and they don't realize that what they are actually excited about is something that they actually don't really want. Then again, I don't know, maybe I'm just being a brat. I'm trying not to be a brat but since that's sort of a ummm survival mechanism (that's sort of like a defence mechanism but not). Sometimes the only way I could get people to honor my wishes is to be a brat. More on that later.

Romantic Tuesday

Diet Update: Yeah, not today.

I didn't really do much of anything today. I did finish reading my romance novel. It was pretty good, very funny at times and of course a bit cheesy, you can't have romance without cheese because you can't have cheese without wine because this metaphor is going nowhere. I did find it a little bit funny to see where the author just lost her mind a bit and was hoping to finish the book. Within the last twenty pages the author credited the wrong character with a quote. I sort of like it when these things happen, make me feel better about making stupid mistakes when I don't even have an editor that reads my stuff. I tend to get my books from the library, if I kept all the books I read I would live in a house made of books and they don't do a good job of protecting one from rain and snow, so when I find a mistake like that I like to do a favour for the next reader and use a pencil (I was taught to never write in pen in books) to cross out the incorrect name and write the correct one in the margin with an arrow pointing to it. Believe it or not I have done this more than once. Lucky me will get to do this twice in this book, because the previously mentioned offence was not the only one of its' kind. The book also contained a preview of the next book in the series and in those few pages once again the author used the wrong name. How did this sort of thing get by an editor twice? Heads surely will roll. Probably not but I am sure someone was yelled at once other readers before me found these mistakes and pointed them out to people in power. Oh the drama!

My Goal

So I wanted to talk about my "diet" goal. Mainly for myself, so I can have it in writing. When I started it all I wanted to lose about 10 lbs. I don't know why but I think we all have a number we want to be no matter what it actually means in terms of our appearance. Well as it is now, I want to lose about 15 lbs because I seem to have picked up 5 somewhere along the way. The number isn't actually that important to me, it's just something by which I can follow my progress. What the "real" goal, well one of the "real" goals, is to just be a tad less jiggly. I like clean lines on things and I like them on myself too, I don't like soft rolls and curves. To me they stick out like a sore thumb. I also want to be healthier. So that's another goal, I want to eat healthier food. I want to be able to cut out a lot of crap that I eat. The problem is that I don't really eat that much real crap like fast food etc. so whatever I do eat is just not all that healthy which I think makes it a little bit harder. The solution I guess would be to eat more really healthy things and less not so healthy things, but as I mentioned before, when I'm hungry the first meal that comes to mind is a pound of pasta. I love pasta, I really love pasta. ramble, off topic.

So less pasta. More.... I don't really know what. I mean vegetables, yes but what else? Chicken breast, ok, got it. Some fish, mostly canned tuna but grilled salmon or some sort of white fish too, about once a week. And that's all I got, and that's the problem, these things have been in my diet for pretty much my whole life, and yet I still feel like that's not enough. I can't be a vegetarian, I would like to try sometime for...some time, but with my food allergies and laziness I really don't think I could realistically last any longer than maybe a month at best. I'm not a confident cook. I love to do it, but for myself. Whenever I have to cook for other people I get very nervous and stressed and end up making a salad or something. I have this huge fear of people not liking what I made. I don't really know why, I suppose it's not that big of a deal but I can't seem to shake it. And if I were to completely reinvent my diet I would have to cook for other people. Two separate dinners will not really fly in this house, I mean yes sometimes there's something that I don't like so I make something else for myself, but that can't happen everyday.

But anyways, #1 Get Fit #2 Eat Healthier.

Ice Cream

My unhealthy snack of choice. A magnum bar. White chocolate.

It has been a few minutes since my last post and I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge the fact that the storm metaphor or whatever it is, has been grossly overused and it's really quite nauseating, so I apologize for that, but it seriously was storming and people really were fighting. At least I didn't title this "I scream for ice cream" *thinks about it*...yeah, no. You're Welcome.

Stormy skies.

Today is one of those days. I didn't shower until late afternoon. After that I ate then I got right back on/in the unmade bed with my computer and proceeded to just click,click,click. Then the storm came. Literally, there was a storm, there still is, it's almost done. It was to be expected. Figuratively too, fighting and screaming. It never ends, always expected but always startling. Sometimes it feels like life is compromised of those moments between the inevitable storms where you run around as fast as you can so that you can get as much done before the next one comes and hope that you don't get caught in one. At least you can use an umbrella in a real storm. Now, before the next storm comes along, I will run down and get tea, and probably some not so healthy snack and run back up and get back to click, click, clicking.

Garden Cocktail

So you know those Mott's Garden Cocktail commercials that claim it is so much better than V8. Well, I tried the Garden Cocktail today and I've got to say that it is one of the most disgusting things I've ever had. It tastes like you are drinking watery sweet vinegar. Who would even want to drink that? It's like liquid ketchup!!! I love ketchup but I don't want to drink it!. So yeah, if you enjoy or at least tolerate the taste of V8, stay away from the Garden Cocktail, it is NOT better.

I think that after I made two posts that mentioned V8 I should just put it out there that I have no affiliation to V8 or any people that have any affiliation to them, I just really like the vegetables that you don't have to wash and cut and stuff.

Hi.

I really want to write a blog but I have absolutely nothing interesting to say at all. I just looked at the clock, it's kind of late, I should go exercise. I like to do it at night because it makes me sleepy (that's what she said), but often I hold it off until it's too late and it's time for me to watch my tv show and get to bed. By get to bed I mean spend extra 3 hours watching youtube videos and eating unhealthy things. So yeah, that's how my diet is going. I think I could eat relatively healthy if I really tried. Like if I had a schedule and such. I mean it wouldn't be all salad diet or anything but I think it would be healthy enough. I find that exercising makes me want to eat healthy things, which is good. The bad part is that I have no creativity when it comes to making healthy food, so I basically always have the same thing. Also, I'm pretty lazy when it comes to making food when I'm actually hungry. I can make food when I'm not hungry-not when I'm stuffed- but when I'm hungry I tend to just cook a pot full of pasta and add a nice fatty sauce to it. I prefer my veggies in liquid form ie. V8. I would eat more veggies if they didn't require washing and cutting and taking out of refrigerator and stuff. So yeah, I guess I'll go work out now. :D