Hello

Hi,

It's been a while, I know. I meant to visit you sooner but you know, life gets in the way and other usual excuses. I don't know why I neglect you so much, I like it here. I feel a bit more sane after I visit. Well, actually I feel more and less sane at the same time. That's not uncommon with me, feeling two different ways at the same time. It's actually sort of a perpetual way of being for me. It's especially tricky when I both want and don't want something at the same time, it's a lose-lose situation. That isn't a good way to look at life is it? Lose-lose. There are wins. Like when I hear a song I really like on the radio, especially when it isn't really radio kind of song. Warm, fresh bed sheets straight from the dryer, that's a win. I wish they could be like that all the time (that's a lose). Reading something that completely makes sense to you and realizing that you're not alone. Getting a good night sleep. Fresh coffee, vanilla and melty chocolate. Whipped cream. Life.

You know how your day can just get so screwed up that nothing can fix it? You just feel like you have 500 pounds of stuff on your shoulders and you can't even stay standing. And you can't do anything else and you can't sleep and you just feel this big great crap all around you. You get scared because what can you really do? You want to do something but you don't know what. And you're all alone in this and it just sucks.

Sometimes I feel like I'm standing in a field all wounded and bleeding and people just decide to throw rocks at me. And I just feel like how the fuck do you expect me to get better and move and get somewhere if you're just going to keep throwing rocks at me before I could even get over our last meeting?

I know I will look at this post in few days and want to throw up. Sometimes I get so whiny that even I can't stand it but at this moment bitching about life on my blog is my best bet. Isn't that what blogs were made for?

I feel a little bit better now. Maybe I will go to sleep.

Hi Blog. I miss you. I don't have much to tell you but I miss you. I just wanted you to know that.

unfinished thought

It's never the way you imagined it. Usually it's worse. You wait forever to get there, to experience this grand thing but once you're there, it's so small and meaningless. It breaks your heart a little. But with every disappointment you learn to dream smaller...

Though innocent, Fall always takes the fall.

So last time I posted here I decided to mess around with the layout. That took only several hours of my computer being frozen. FROZEN! Like when they used to get in the late 90s when the hard drive was like 2 GB! It was ridiculous. It was the second time this happened. The first time was when the new template editor was still very new so I thought "well they must've worked out the kinks by now", they did not. I really don't understand. My computer might not be a state of the art thing but it's not from the 90s. *breathes out*

So that experience kept me away from here for a while. It's getting colder outside. I am not excited. I hate winter. I hate the fall because it leads to winter. It makes me feel bad for fall because it's really perfectly fine and innocent but I hate it by association. By this reasoning spring would probably be my favorite season because it means the end of winter and when it is spring, winter is very far away, but where I live we don't have spring. It goes from snowy cold to wet cold to wet warm. So maybe that's the season I like best, wet warm. I prefer dry warm but you know...fall...winter... . I need to move. soon. next year?

Feed Me!

As soon as I saw this picture I thought to myself "Do I have all of the ingredients to make this right now?" Sadly, I do not. :(

It looks so delicious. In case you're wondering, it's pizza bread. I love pizza everything and I love bread. This is a perfect marriage of the two and I am willing to agree to a polygamous relationship with them. Yum.

The recipe for it is here. I will be making this sometime soon for sure!

I like you

So fall is almost here. This means that there are a bunch of new things I want or really like.

1. I am really linking these delicate, simple, little rings such as this one:

They're just so sweet and romantic looking. I think they have a very "fall" look to them.

2. This book co-written by Rafa Nadal:

I think it will be a nice coffee table book. Plus I am interested in getting some insight into his life because he is so private.

OK so I guess that's just two things but there are more, I will add them as I see them.

Today's Thursday

1. Carlos Berlocq is a great example of a great athlete. Even while he was losing 6-0,6-0, 2-0, he kept fighting. His attitude was great. He didn't throw a fit. He wasn't getting visibly angry at himself, he wasn't trying to take out any frustration on the umpire or the ball kids. He just played, and gave it his all. He is a great example of sportsmanship and a great person for young kids to look up to. Being a graceful when winning isn't that hard, being graceful when being defeated is and graceful he was.

2. Bleh.

Attitude Matters

It's amazing how much of a difference your attitude makes. I think that's sort of common knowledge but lately I've been thinking about people who have made me angry and consistently it has been their attitude that has done it. I have a very low tolerance for rude and arrogant people. People often say "You won't get anywhere with that attitude", but that's not really true is it? Rude and arrogant people are everywhere and they're successful. Now that's annoying.

Nice

Today I was having a really crappy day. I was cranky before I even opened my eyes. As I was driving on the highway I thought, I should talk about something nice, because this blog has quickly just become a place for me to complain and that's not the point of it. So, nice things.

#1. I like it when people move out of your way on the highway when you're trying to get onto it from the ramp. That's nice.

#2. Movies. I was very frustrated today and I was wondering how I could just get over it and relax, so I put on a movie and completely forgot about my crappy day.

#3. Food. I know that you're not supposed to reward yourself with food, but food is good, even more so when it's good for you.

The Point of the Story

I think people abuse the phrase "right to free speech". It seems that every time any sort of restriction is implemented or suggested people automatically shield themselves with "I have the right to free speech" Same happens whenever a person decides to say something stupid in an inappropriate setting. Take the story of the teacher from the post below as an example. Does he have the right to believe that allowing gay marriage is horrible? Sure. Does he have the right to say it? Probably. Should he have said it on a Facebook where he had over 700 friends, some of whom were probably his students, their parents? Definitely not. So yes people have the right to express their beliefs but if they do it in the wrong setting they should be prepared for the consequences of it and not cry out "free speech". Free speech is a right given to citizens of many countries based on the belief that said citizens have the intellectual capacity to distinguish between right and wrong between opinion and hate speech, between a statement being informative/expressive and destructive. But people seem to completely ignore that. They choose to believe that free speech is the right to spew any stupid thought that comes to their mind. Maybe there should be a mandatory class on free speech for all citizens, that way people will learn what it actually means.

Free Speech.

What exactly is it?

A few days ago I read a story about a mother (who works as a teacher) who was suing the state of Missouri because a law forbidding teachers from contacting students on non-educational websites such as Facebook, Twitter etc. was preventing her from being able to speak to her own daughter on Facebook. Now it seems reasonable enough that a mother should be able to contact her daughter, so having an exemption for family members seems like the obvious answer. However, the suit brought out a lot of anger from teachers and students alike who feel that they should be allowed to talk to whomever they want, after all they have the right to free speech, right?

Now, I don't really see the reasoning here. I love the Internet, I spend hours using it. I have at least one account on various social networks but I never had any desire to "follow"or "friend" any of my teachers. Some teachers and students argue that Facebook is a convenient way to contact the teacher if the student is having homework problems etc. But these days most schools provide students and teachers with school board sanctioned e-mail addresses for situations like these. Besides, what ever happened to teachers answering questions in class? I really do not understand the constant NEED for teachers and students to be in touch. I really don't think there is one. And I definitely don't see to be an issue of free speech. I don't see how in any way a teacher is slighted by not being able to contact a student at his or her whim.

The main reason for the law is to keep sexual predators away. Personally I think that there more reasons for to discourage student-teacher contact outside of school. For one there is no reason for it, school is school and home is home. Constant contact even if only school related would allow teachers to expect their students to regularly check their social network accounts in anticipation of an assignment. Sure, some teachers wouldn't bother to do any work outside of the hours they are being paid for but there definitely are ones who think that children should be learning at all times and because they are teachers they are to be listened to. It also leaves out the students who aren't members of the social networks. Moreover, it can imply favoritism. When a teacher comments on photographs of one student but not the other it's an action that is very noticeable to young people. Sure, that kind of thing can happen in class as well but why take it outside of class and make the kids feel bad about themselves at home too? Not being able to comment on a child's vacation photo does not in any way take away the teachers' right for free speech.

If anything having all of that contact with children outside of classroom actually limits the teachers' free speech if you ask me. Recently a teacher was suspended because of her blog in which she complained about her students being lazy and worthless. Of course parents of the children were outraged while other teachers supported her right to free speech. Now, she never intended her students to read the blog but it was public and anyone with a knowledge of working a search engine could have access to it, which is basically what happened. A case which is more relevant to this is that of a teacher who used his Facebook account as a forum to express his disdain at the state of New York for legalizing gay marriage. The school board is investigating weather or not the issue violated its' ethics rules and until they make a final decision he has been placed in an administrative position where he has no contact with the students. So I wonder why all those teachers who are so adamant about being able to communicate with students on social networks want to put themselves in that position. Why would you want to have to watch everything you say or your friends say for a fear that you may lose your job? What if your friend posts a picture of your weekend partying and tags you in it and it's there for your students and their parents to see? Surely there will be a mother or a father who will have an issue with you and take it up with the school board. So why risk it?

I am not a fan of legislating every single thing in the world but I understand why it happens. The second a teacher sends an inappropriate message to a student the parents, provided that they're made aware of it, would sue the school board and of course they don't want that. So this law is a way of protecting themselves. To me it just seems that it would be common sense for teachers and students (and their parents) to not fraternize outside of school. And I really cannot see how this kind of communication ban is taking away any sort of rights from the teachers.

By the way, the law refers to minors so it does not apply to college/university/trade school students, at least not the ones over 18, I am not really sure how it works with the few who have yet to turn 18 when they graduate high school.

The story about the teacher who posted his thoughts about gay marriage.

Cake

I want cake and I will have it.

YouTube Ruined My Life: EmilyNoel83

I thought that today I would talk a little bit about another YouTuber I am a big fan of. The name of her channel is EmilyNoel83 and she is a "beauty guru". I used to be all about watching beauty videos on YouTube until every single person that I was subscribed to was making mainly sponsored videos.

I am fine with sponsored videos, I am fine with people being sent stuff for free but if you only do videos you get paid for (aside from google partnership) you're not being very helpful. I've been subscribed to "gurus" who in one video raved about a product and said that they would use it all the time but then they never used said product again. If you're telling girls that they definitely should buy this or that but you yourself never use it, you are obviously saying that only for the money.

EmilyNoel83 is not one of those gurus. She is older than most gurus, which is nice because she's had a lot of experience with make up and even life. (She's under 30 I believe so don't think that older means OLDER) However, this does not mean that she cannot appeal to younger girls, she does. I think even more so than many younger gurus because she is not obsessed with expensive brands of make up. She uses all kinds of make up, from $1/ piece E.L.F, to higher end Urban Decay or Too Faced or MAC. So she can help a girl/woman find a nice make-up look on a budget or teach her how to do a more unique look with products from more expensive brands.

Her tutorials are not only very easy to follow but they are also very eloquent and interesting thanks to the fact that she is a news anchor and was clearly born to be one. She posts videos quite regularly and has unique ideas for them.

My favorite things about EmilyNoel83:

#1. She uses inexpensive and expensive makeup, and she reviews both fairly

#2. She does not accept payment for reviews or making specific videos (she does get sent free stuff and she always mentions if she got something for free)

#3. Her make-up looks, reviews and advice videos are unique and not recycled over and over.

Workout Wednesday

Today I had a really good workout. I did a lot of different stuff, like stretches and...stuff. I guess I'm not really good at naming exercises. But basically I did a lot of different things and I feel good now. As far as food, I did fine. I'm sort of wondering if I am having too much sugar or not. I don't add sugar to anything but I do like syrup on my waffles and I just some frosting thing. I guess I probably could've had less of it but it's so good, stopping is difficult. I haven't been working out everyday lately. I guess I sort of gave up a bit because I really haven't been losing weight and I don't see much of a change in my energy and muscles, but I will try to keep at it and concentrate on doing more of a variety exercises and try to switch it up every little while, I think that might help to at least make my muscles stronger. I'm still trying to find better food options. I figure that even if I have a not very healthy dinner with the rest of the family, all my other meals can be healthy.

Karma's a bitch...

...only if you are. So don't be a bitch.

Spotless

Today I cleaned. Tomorrow I will do something interesting. Now I will sleep.

Doncha hate it?

bop.bop.

cowboy take me away. im listening to that song right now. it was recommended to me by YouTube. I have no affiliation with YouTube. I should because I'm pretty sure that I singlehandedly made a lot of youtubers rich. ok probably not singlehandedly but I helped a lot. I basically live on youtube. I don't really know what life was like before it. I mean there once was a time when i wanted to hear a particular song but I didn't own it so I had to wait all day and hope that it would come on the radio, now I can just type a few words and VOILA!!! there it is, the song that I've been wanting to listen to. right there. right in my little computer. how magical is that? very.

so yeah. I'm realizing I am very uninteresting. I think that might not necessarily be it, it's just that I'm not a very "share-y"person. I shall undertake some stuff that will be more interesting and that I would be willing to share. There I said it, so now it must happen.

YouTube ruined my life

That's probably a bit dramatic but seriously, like a vampire sucks the blood out of you, YouTube sucks the life out of me. I guess it would be more accurate to say it sucks up all my time, I don't know why I thought of the vampire comparison, it really makes no sense now that I look at it.

Point: I spend a lot of time on YouTube. A lot. A lot.

I go to watch a video and then just one more video and then it's three hours later and I haven't done anything all day. It really sucks you in...like a vampire...heh... :|. There are few reasons why I really like YouTube and prefer it to TV.

#1. the videos are short, most are under 20 minutes. You can just catch a quick video in between whatever.

#2. the videos are not heavily produced, they're often written/produced/directed etc etc by the people you see in the video

#3. kind of goes with #2, you see "normal" people just being people. I guess this and #2 mainly refer to vlogs.

#4. in most cases there is very little money involved in making of the videos which means that there is a lot of freedom.

#5. because there isn't a lot of money and studios involved there is a wide variety of entertainment and pretty much everyone can find something they like.

One of my favorite "YouTubers" lately has been MrArturoTrejo I just love his sense of humor. He is one of those YouTube partners who actually has a "real job" as a lawyer (though he seems a bit reluctant to even mention the word "lawyer") I don't think that having a job outside of YouTube really makes much of a difference, other than maybe he feels less pressure to pump out videos constantly because it is not his main source of income. That said, he is pretty regular with them. He posts videos every Thursday or Tursday aka Trejo Tursday and even sometimes throws in a "Trejo Treat" sometime during the week. His videos are on the shorter side rarely ever exceeding five minutes. I find myself laughing out loud very often while watching them.

My favorite things about MrArturoTrejo's videos

1. His dry sense of humor

2. His adorable 2 year old son Jose Louis

3. His frequent use of the Spanish language because his wife is half Mexican and it's very clear he is a fan of that culture.

My mind's racing from chasing pirates

letters. words. sentences. paragraphs. i am such a wonderful writer.

yesterday i couldn't blog because there was site maintenance or something of the sort. and of course i had so many interesting things to say then but i don't remember them now. i might be lying.

Approximately $25 million is spent each year on lap dances in Las Vegas"? This may be not true I don't know, I got it off the internet. Does the internet ever lie? I'm not sure. $25 million huh? I would've actually thought it was more. don't they have places that are open like 24/7? cheap people in Las Vegas. Do me a favour, if you ever are in Las Vegas and have a lap dance, tip your dancer well. I once knew a "dancer". I actually knew her from church. I love irony. Was that ironic or just coincidental? I'm not sure. I think it's a nice anecdote. "I know a stripper, I met her at church, har har har"... ok maybe it's not that funny or at all. I have to go chase pirates now. Bye. Peace. Love. Don't forget to tip your lady ;)

I don't want to

I really don't feel like blogging today but I haven't yesterday and I feel that if I don't today then I won't tomorrow and that will be that and it can't be that. I'm tired. I didn't do anything today. Tomorrow I want to just sit outside all day, hopefully that will happen. Hopefully I can wake up early. I should check if there is any interesting tennis on tomorrow, that might get me to wake up. I am really angry at these London riots it is ridiculous. I really wonder how these people are justifying robbing stores to themselves. I hope every single one of them gets arrested then they will see what tough life really is. I mean how difficult can you life be if you have a blackberry that you can use to whine about it? Like, I'm pretty sure you can't be hurting THAT much for money. yeah.

I think things

A few days ago or something I said I would talk about religion but I decided I didn't really want to. I had that post kind of thought out and just decided I didn't want to write it. I will share the moral of it though. Basically, whenever someone does something stupid/disgusting/wrong etc etc and uses God/gods to justify it, people who don't believe in God/gods or who don't happen to believe in that God/gods make all these comments about religion and all the negative aspects of it. It is OK to have opinions on this but I wish they would stop somehow believing that just because there is one idiot that goes out and does bunch of stupid things (whatever they may be however horrible they may be, stupid just seems to encompass a lot of different things) everybody else who is religious is just like that idiot. Not everyone believes in the same thing and that's fine and it's even fine when people think that what their neighbours believe is stupid or wrong but it's not fine to assume that everyone who calls themselves religious in the least would hide behind that just to go around and do stupid things like kill people or hurt people or abuse people or animals or whatever.

That's it. I think this is the extent of my religious talk. I don't really like to talk about it because I feel like I have my opinion on things and I am aware that other people have differing opinions and that what they say will probably not change mine and what I say will probably not change theirs so what is the point? Not that I think that it should never be discussed I just feel like I discussed it a lot in my life and I am fine with other people having different beliefs or opinions.

Look for Soulja Boy in the plane seat near you

It was a mystery that captivated millions of people for ages...did Soulja Boy really get a $55 mil. jet? Today I can say with some certainty that he did not.This all according to his representative. In fact our dear friend (this is the second time I write about him so we're basically best friends) actually owes around $26,000 to the state of California in back taxes AND he JUST paid off a $3,571 lien in Mississippi AND one of his homes was foreclosed on. Basically the guy is all talk no game. G5 status wannabe but he ain't even a simple G, yeah yeah. I'm basically the best rapper in the world, word up yo! He probably can't even Robin a hoe much less Superman her!*

The money thing comes from here http://bit.ly/ocfKq0

*I couldn't think of a Superman sidekick so you have to settle for Batman's main man, they're all basically the same.

Everything happens for a reason

Or so they say. The reason I think is to learn from whatever it is that happens. This is where my problem occurs. So far in my life I have learned not to trust people and not to ever have faith in people, that wouldn't have been too much of a problem if it wasn't for a fact that you have to trust and have faith in people in order to be successful. You have to trust someone to help you out with what you want to do because there are very few things in this world that you can do just by yourself. But ever since I was a child all I have learned was that people let you down. I have enough of a problem trusting people and confiding in people and just being around people, these lessons of "one day for seemingly no reason this person that you somehow felt close to and somehow trusted will fuck you over". These are not good lessons for a person with commitment and trust issues. I mean at this point I cannot even see ever getting married because how could I possibly trust someone for the rest of my life?! That's a long time, well we're hoping, by we I mean I. And the thing is I have tried it both ways, I've been all out there and it came back to bite me and I've been a lot less out there and that came back to bite me as well. What is a person to do? Does one take out an ad in the newspaper?

"Looking for a trustworthy person without a bitchy streak to just exist and hang out with me sometimes, good hygiene and bilingualism mandatory. Must have opposing taste in men, can't look better than me in my clothes. Must be able to see past own nose, nose size unimportant" ?

Do people still read newspapers?

Short story long, my point is that I thought the point was for me to allow more people into my life but all my experiences with them make me think that the logical thing would be to run away from them. Me, Myself and I that's all I got in the end. Thanks Beyonce.

...

So I thought I would get a blog done early today and that it would be epic (ok just not sucky). Well that obviously did not happen. So what to say what to say. well i worked out today so that was good. i ate not very healthy but then again i really don't know if i ever will. i did have a smoothie which was pretty gross because i added protein powder to it but i made myself drink the whole big glass so yeah, that was good i guess. now my eyes are closing and i can't really keep typing without falling asleep while i do. so goodnight.

Life

Sometimes life leads us in a direction we would've never imagined and at first it's scary and uncomfortable but after a while you realize it's the way you were meant to go.

I am really tired, it's late so that's all that I could get down on paper ("") right now but someday soon I do want to talk about:1. religion and stuff (nothing too serious) 2. Kate Middleton and her twice worn dresses 3. Soulja boy update 4. there was something else but i forgot.

I kind of like life right now.

Cancelled

Today's blog is canceled due to a headache caused by people who annoy me. People who try to prove a point that doesn't exist.

Leave me alone and don't bitch about it!!

Why do people find it so difficult to accept introverts? Why is it so difficult for people to understand that sometimes all we want to be is alone? We have to adjust to live in this world where people ask you stupid questions you don't want to answer, we have to talk to people we do not want to talk to on daily basis and we deal with it. So why is it so hard for you to just come to terms with the fact that when once in a while we tell you we just want a me day? Why do you have to make a big deal about it like for some reason it's a cop-out? I don't give you attitude when you blow me off to hang out with your boyfriend, or go to some party or whatever. So don't give me attitude when I tell you that I want to be alone, that I need to be alone. It is really not that hard to understand, you don't have to know how it feels to like having some time just for yourself all you have to know is that some people like it and you should respect that.

Miley Cyrus Saves the Gays!

Gay people of the world, don't you worry your fabulous selves, Miley Cyrus is watching out for you!!!! Oh what's that? Oh, you don't care? Oh, ok.

Everyone's favorite pop tart* recently got herself a tattoo of "=" (an equal sign) on her finger. Apparently it is to signify her support for equality in marriage. Well, OK, sure let the gays be married and gay (get it? gay as in happy? Ha...ha..no? ok) I am all for it. But Miley Cyrus getting a tattoo to make a point about it is sort of like me getting a tattoo in support of insurance covering Viagra prescriptions, sure I'm in favour but really who cares? It is nice of celebrities to support a worthwhile issue but sometimes I wish they would just shut up. How does Miley's tattoo help anyone? It doesn't but here she is thinking she is this great person that stands for something great. It is actually pretty disgusting that people are taking advantage of an issue to make themselves look shinier. Sometimes these people need to realize that the public doesn't like them for their highly intellectual opinions (*/sarcasm*) but for their ability to shake their half naked ass on stage.

*Statement may lack factual support.

Sleepy Blog

I am sleepy. Like this:

Paper Thoughts

Today I finished reading Paper Towns, I don't know how I feel about it. It wasn't bad. It wasn't not good. I guess it is fair to say that it was in fact good. Even if I didn't necessarily like the ending, it was good. It was thought through. There were some hard to believe parts, I don't think that people can just change overnight, even if a naked picture of them is being held hostage. Another thing I didn't like was something that is not exclusive to this book. The parents of the main character are both therapists and apparently according to almost every book and movie, they are sort of hippie like, clueless, let's-talk-about-how-this-makes-us-feel, likable idiots. I don't know which psychologists/therapists/psychiatrists these people are hanging out with but I know that 99% of them are nothing like this. 99% of them do not try to diagnose every single person they come in contact with for more than a second. 99% of them don't think that they are better than everyone else just because they have studied psychology/psychiatry extensively, that's not to say they don't think they're better than everyone else for other reasons, but it rarely is because of their job. So that annoyed me, luckily they weren't a huge part of the book.

When I was in high school I knew that high it wasn't where it was at for me. I had to go because it's the law and because you can't skip over it on the way to university and the real world, so I went. It was fine, but it wasn't the most important time of my life, I don't think that it really felt like it at all. I knew that when I would leave I was still a kid. I guess maybe a lot of people aren't kids when they leave. Some get married and start families, I always thought it was weird but who am I to call other people weird?

Eating junk in paper towns

Today for breakfast I had a danish and for supper I had a burger, so needless to say my diet is going great. /sarcasm. The eating right is really the hardest part. Well, I haven't been doing great with the actual working out part but I've been doing good.

I also have nothing to say. I just want to read the book...that I'm reading right now...not right now but ummm that I'm in the process of reading. It's John Green's Paper Towns, so far (I'm at around chapter 6, I think) I'm wondering if teenage boys actually call girls "honeybunny" and say things like "you should hit that, she's a sweet honeybunny", I don't really know why I put those in quotes since I doubt they're actual quotes but whatever the quotes stay. Also, I don't like the main girl character, she seems to have no regard for people's property. It really bothers me when people destroy other people's things, it's just so rude. But I'm sure I will learn what her redeeming qualities are soon enough. The book is meant for Young Adults (why do they call teenagers that? People in their 20s are young adults teenagers are not) and it reads like one, it's pretty fast paced, there aren't too many in depth explanations just things happening, that's not a bad thing at all. I can see why teenagers would really enjoy this book I think it's pretty good at describing the feelings of teenagers though I think there is some "adult" in them as there is in many great stories about teenagers. I think that's the whole point. For some reason teens seem to like to watch and read about other teens who seem to have very adult qualities about them. I guess maybe so that they can aspire to be like that. Those characters usually just made me feel incompetent. Anyway, that is my review of the book which I am nowhere near finished reading. I hope that last sentence made some sort of sense.

Soulja Boy Bankruptcy Watch

So while going about the important business of catching up on celebrity gossip I read a story about Soulja Boy and his birthday gift to himself, a $55 million private jet. Now, don't you go judging him for being ridiculous, the jet itself doesn't cost $55 mill. It's only $35 million, but since the jet needs to be personalized, obviously, he is spending an additional $20 million to do just that.

OK.

#1. Soulja Boy is apparently a rapper and a music producer. He is turning 21.

#2. Supposedly he's had successful music career so far.

#3. It is his money.

But.

Fifty Five Million Dollars for a plane? Is he planning to live in the plane? I mean one would assume that if someone feels the need to get a private plane, and pay that much for it, that person expects to use it a lot which means that he has to pay for the crew to operate the thing, he has to pay for the fuel, maintenance, supplies (anything from food to toilet paper), some sort of housing unit, taxes? and more. That stuff adds up. It probably adds up to more than whatever it would've cost him to just rent a private jet every time he really needed it. It just seems a little bit excessive, wasteful and pointless. In my eyes there are only two possible conclusions:

#1. He will go bankrupt within the next ten years.

#2. This is just a big publicity stunt created to garner some attention. Sure, he might've actually gone and looked at planes and discussed all of these plans but he has absolutely no intention to follow through. This would not really be that surprising, this world is full of attention whores and we as a society allow it. Embrace it even.

Now, I don't want to be one of "those" people. The ones who think that rich people should just give all their money away to charities, I believe that if you earned your money you have every right to spend it and not feel bad about it. but. If he has $55 million to get a plane, I feel like it would only make sense for him to make some sort of significant charitable contribution and maybe he has and does on regular basis, I don't know, I really don't know much about him other than he has a really vile song, but I know that I am not the only one thinking that this should happen.

I want to get naked!

I also want this palette:

Sad Panda is sad

Sometimes (often) I have days when I don't even want to say anything to anyone. I know that I have communication issues and I should work on them. I also know that when I try to explain important things to people, they listen to the first two words of what I say and then just assume the rest. I don't remember when I haven't felt misunderstood. I know this sounds like a very dramatic episode of a teenage tv show. It feels like it. I feel like this happens a lot in life, not only in mine, when people decided that because they cannot understand the legitimacy of something they tend to dismiss the idea of it as nothing or a cute hobby. But there you are, and you see that this is what you want and it will take time for anyone else to see the worth of it so you try and you work hard and you try and work hard and try and work hard and everyday people that matter most to you look at you and say "when are you actually going to do something?". Well...never. I guess I will never do the something that seems like a something to you. It would be nice though if you maybe pretended that you have some sort of faith in me though. It would. It's the worst when you feel like you accomplished something, and you're in a good mood and then boom someone opens their mouth and you just feel like crap. And any amount of motivation you had just goes away.

Yeah. It's definitely one of those, I am feeling so sorry for myself days. But I don't think that anyone else will feel sorry for me and someone's gotta do it and I'm all I got. Not to be dramatic or anything. ;)

Kim Kardashian is a spokesperson for pretty people

So. My life is so interesting. Today I skimmed over some article that talked about how Kim Kardashian has psoriasis and apparent;y when she found out she was really sad because people don't understand that she can't have red patches on her skin because people expect her to be beautiful and that's just so hard *pouty face*. Now, as a girl I can understand that having people pick apart every single flaw you may have is not a pleasurable experience, even if you do look like Kim Kardashian, but isn't she the one that put herself in this position? I'm just a bit sick of fame whores complaining about being famous. No one would've cared about Kimmy if she hadn't made and allowed the release of her sex tape. She knowingly used it to become famous, it worked for her former friend Paris Hilton didn't it? I don't really have much more to say on this, other than maybe there should be some rule that automatically forbade any media to report on a person who complains about their fame and money. I don't mean a reasonable complaint like "people go up to my child and say creepy things to him" or whatever I mean like stupid things like this. If you put yourself in a fishbowl, don't complain about people being able to see you in it. But I guess I should say that a lot of times I think people should really follow the rule of "if you have nothing nice to say...." it's one thing to poke fun of person's hairstyle or dress or something, it's another to make fun of their weight or face or something, even if the person is famous and rich.

So yeah, that was the most significant event in my day today. How sad? Actually, I did learn today that people sometimes need to be told what they want or don't want for them to realize it. This is a result of a long story that I will not be sharing but basically I think sometimes people get caught up with excitement of "stuff" and they don't realize that what they are actually excited about is something that they actually don't really want. Then again, I don't know, maybe I'm just being a brat. I'm trying not to be a brat but since that's sort of a ummm survival mechanism (that's sort of like a defence mechanism but not). Sometimes the only way I could get people to honor my wishes is to be a brat. More on that later.

Romantic Tuesday

Diet Update: Yeah, not today.

I didn't really do much of anything today. I did finish reading my romance novel. It was pretty good, very funny at times and of course a bit cheesy, you can't have romance without cheese because you can't have cheese without wine because this metaphor is going nowhere. I did find it a little bit funny to see where the author just lost her mind a bit and was hoping to finish the book. Within the last twenty pages the author credited the wrong character with a quote. I sort of like it when these things happen, make me feel better about making stupid mistakes when I don't even have an editor that reads my stuff. I tend to get my books from the library, if I kept all the books I read I would live in a house made of books and they don't do a good job of protecting one from rain and snow, so when I find a mistake like that I like to do a favour for the next reader and use a pencil (I was taught to never write in pen in books) to cross out the incorrect name and write the correct one in the margin with an arrow pointing to it. Believe it or not I have done this more than once. Lucky me will get to do this twice in this book, because the previously mentioned offence was not the only one of its' kind. The book also contained a preview of the next book in the series and in those few pages once again the author used the wrong name. How did this sort of thing get by an editor twice? Heads surely will roll. Probably not but I am sure someone was yelled at once other readers before me found these mistakes and pointed them out to people in power. Oh the drama!

My Goal

So I wanted to talk about my "diet" goal. Mainly for myself, so I can have it in writing. When I started it all I wanted to lose about 10 lbs. I don't know why but I think we all have a number we want to be no matter what it actually means in terms of our appearance. Well as it is now, I want to lose about 15 lbs because I seem to have picked up 5 somewhere along the way. The number isn't actually that important to me, it's just something by which I can follow my progress. What the "real" goal, well one of the "real" goals, is to just be a tad less jiggly. I like clean lines on things and I like them on myself too, I don't like soft rolls and curves. To me they stick out like a sore thumb. I also want to be healthier. So that's another goal, I want to eat healthier food. I want to be able to cut out a lot of crap that I eat. The problem is that I don't really eat that much real crap like fast food etc. so whatever I do eat is just not all that healthy which I think makes it a little bit harder. The solution I guess would be to eat more really healthy things and less not so healthy things, but as I mentioned before, when I'm hungry the first meal that comes to mind is a pound of pasta. I love pasta, I really love pasta. ramble, off topic.

So less pasta. More.... I don't really know what. I mean vegetables, yes but what else? Chicken breast, ok, got it. Some fish, mostly canned tuna but grilled salmon or some sort of white fish too, about once a week. And that's all I got, and that's the problem, these things have been in my diet for pretty much my whole life, and yet I still feel like that's not enough. I can't be a vegetarian, I would like to try sometime for...some time, but with my food allergies and laziness I really don't think I could realistically last any longer than maybe a month at best. I'm not a confident cook. I love to do it, but for myself. Whenever I have to cook for other people I get very nervous and stressed and end up making a salad or something. I have this huge fear of people not liking what I made. I don't really know why, I suppose it's not that big of a deal but I can't seem to shake it. And if I were to completely reinvent my diet I would have to cook for other people. Two separate dinners will not really fly in this house, I mean yes sometimes there's something that I don't like so I make something else for myself, but that can't happen everyday.

But anyways, #1 Get Fit #2 Eat Healthier.

Ice Cream

My unhealthy snack of choice. A magnum bar. White chocolate.

It has been a few minutes since my last post and I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge the fact that the storm metaphor or whatever it is, has been grossly overused and it's really quite nauseating, so I apologize for that, but it seriously was storming and people really were fighting. At least I didn't title this "I scream for ice cream" *thinks about it*...yeah, no. You're Welcome.

Stormy skies.

Today is one of those days. I didn't shower until late afternoon. After that I ate then I got right back on/in the unmade bed with my computer and proceeded to just click,click,click. Then the storm came. Literally, there was a storm, there still is, it's almost done. It was to be expected. Figuratively too, fighting and screaming. It never ends, always expected but always startling. Sometimes it feels like life is compromised of those moments between the inevitable storms where you run around as fast as you can so that you can get as much done before the next one comes and hope that you don't get caught in one. At least you can use an umbrella in a real storm. Now, before the next storm comes along, I will run down and get tea, and probably some not so healthy snack and run back up and get back to click, click, clicking.

Garden Cocktail

So you know those Mott's Garden Cocktail commercials that claim it is so much better than V8. Well, I tried the Garden Cocktail today and I've got to say that it is one of the most disgusting things I've ever had. It tastes like you are drinking watery sweet vinegar. Who would even want to drink that? It's like liquid ketchup!!! I love ketchup but I don't want to drink it!. So yeah, if you enjoy or at least tolerate the taste of V8, stay away from the Garden Cocktail, it is NOT better.

I think that after I made two posts that mentioned V8 I should just put it out there that I have no affiliation to V8 or any people that have any affiliation to them, I just really like the vegetables that you don't have to wash and cut and stuff.

Hi.

I really want to write a blog but I have absolutely nothing interesting to say at all. I just looked at the clock, it's kind of late, I should go exercise. I like to do it at night because it makes me sleepy (that's what she said), but often I hold it off until it's too late and it's time for me to watch my tv show and get to bed. By get to bed I mean spend extra 3 hours watching youtube videos and eating unhealthy things. So yeah, that's how my diet is going. I think I could eat relatively healthy if I really tried. Like if I had a schedule and such. I mean it wouldn't be all salad diet or anything but I think it would be healthy enough. I find that exercising makes me want to eat healthy things, which is good. The bad part is that I have no creativity when it comes to making healthy food, so I basically always have the same thing. Also, I'm pretty lazy when it comes to making food when I'm actually hungry. I can make food when I'm not hungry-not when I'm stuffed- but when I'm hungry I tend to just cook a pot full of pasta and add a nice fatty sauce to it. I prefer my veggies in liquid form ie. V8. I would eat more veggies if they didn't require washing and cutting and taking out of refrigerator and stuff. So yeah, I guess I'll go work out now. :D

The One that Makes you Scream

You know this person. Most people have at least one in their lives. It's the way they say that word or do that thing that just makes you fume. You try to be nice, before you see them you mentally prepare yourself to take a deep breath, relax and then respond. It never works. You want to dig your nails into your own skin, you want to throw sharp things at the annoying one, you want to scream bloody murder and hope that the vibrations this creates will set his brain in order and he will not be this annoying, he will not say and do stupid things.

Well, that doesn't happen. What happens is, you tell him he's stupid and annoying and should never speak and then you feel bad, not so much for hurting his feelings but for not being able to control yours. You get annoyed at yourself for letting him get to you like that. The truth is that he is a nice, intelligent, well meaning person...but he says the stupidest and the most aggravating things you can imagine. And you know that you should be able to deal with that without blowing up, but you just can't help it and that maybe even more annoying than he is.

Like if you agree

I think that this phrase beats "First" as the most annoying thing you can read in a youtube comment. Don't tell me what you do you stupid commenter person. If I like it then I'll "Like" it ok?

Romper Room.

So the other day I saw a cute little romper at the mall, I was going to get it but decided against it because it's not very versatile. So back at home I was thinking about it and wondering if I should go back and get it and then it dawned on me....how does one use the bathroom in that thing? You would literally take it all off just to have a pee. That cannot be easy, or fun, or comfortable. I can't imagine just sitting topless on a toilet-somebody else's too because if you're wearing that you're likely to be out. OK so you might be wearing a bra underneath but still.

Crumble

It wasn't always like this, we had good times. Now there are worlds between us and we don't know the area codes. You disappeared slowly but so surely. With every day a part of you gone. You couldn't recognize me because you looked at me with strangers eyes. So it's over and that's sad. At least I can remember the good times we had.

It's not worth the price.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.- Sloane Crosley

Bitter and Angry

How do you act not bitter and angry when you are bitter and angry?

I don't want to be that person. I don't want to get annoyed at the slightest things but I am. How do I get over that?

Perfection

This is my favorite picture in the world right now. Everything about it is perfect.

The Weather Channel

My mom loves the weather channel. She can watch it all day. I don't know if she doesn't realize that it is replayed every ten minutes or just forgets what it said ten minutes ago or what but if you try to change the channel when she is watching it (and has been for about 45 minutes) she will cut you!

WANTED

These shoes are fabulous! I don't care from how many seasons ago they are! I WANT THEM! I will be starting a paypal donate account so that complete strangers can contribute to my AWESOME Shoes Fund. (That is a lie, I will not be doing that, but let's pretend that I will so that I can imagine that there is a possibility of me owning a pair of these at some point)

Just like heaven

Show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream, he said,

the one that makes me laugh, he said, and threw his arms around my neck,

show me how you do it and

I promise you, I promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you...

.... You're just like a dream, you're just like a dream...

....You, Just like Heaven.

What's in my purse?

Who cares? Why?

I do not know the answer to that question but I do know that I absolutely love watching those videos. I can spend hours watching some ditsy girl take out her hair brush and phone out of her purse and give me more information about those items than I would ever need or care for. Sadly, I have seen so many of those videos that the only ones left are hosted by over-made up-Maxim-model-wannabes with no soul or personality or little 13 year old that like totally doesn't remember where she like got that bobby pin from or like has like this totally cool story that she remembered when she saw one of the items in her purse but like she can't tell it because it was like totally one of those you had to be there moments but it was really funny.

Recently, when I was searching for some of these peculiarly interesting videos I noticed that about half of the results had thumbnails with girls looking into space. This made me happy. Sure you can have thousands of people watch you unpack the contents of your purse, but can carry a thought without having to strenuously think about the correct word every five seconds? No? of course you can't, you have a cute purse, lots of make up and rich parents why would you even need to learn more than a hundred words in your lifetime? That's like totally umm...*looks into space*...unnecessary!

Billy Ray

So... Billy Ray Cyrus called off his divorce and now is saying that he and his daughter have a great relationship? I'm sorry, he's married to his daughter?!?! Well he obviously isn't but why does his relationship with his child have any sort of bearing on his marriage? That is creepy. Since when do issues between one parent and a child are what causes divorce (not counting abuse etc etc)? Parents should not be allowed to cash in on their kids' fame money, because when mommy and daddy say "You're grounded" the child can say "You're evicted" and that is just messed up.

Chris Brown

Dear Chris Brown,

You effed up, big time. What you did that february, wasn't just a small stupid "thing" that happened. It was serious. Sure, you are young and hormonal and high strung and sometimes people your age do really stupid things they later regret and it doesn't mean that that one action should define what sort of person they will become in the futre, but this doesn't mean that people will just forget it and move on. Women have been killed by abusive mates. So as you see, this is a serious issue that envokes really strong feelings from people. You are the one that needs to get over it. Can you apologize for it enough? No, no you cannot, you should be thankful for every chance you get to apologize. This isn't just about your ex gf anymore, this is also about all female victims of abuse. You are the one that fucked up, you are the one that did something very very wrong and you are the one that is dealing with this
in the most immature way possible. You need to sit there, answer some questions (even if your answer is "I really don't want to talk about this anymore, I made a big mistake and I am trying to move on") Smashing a window only shows us that you really don't know how to deal with your anger, and although it doesn't necessairly indicate that you will beat up another woman, but you probably will do a lot more very stupid things in the future and your "I'm still young" excuse is a little past expiry date.

Firth

Firth should be a word. I like to say it. I mean I know that it is a word meaning shore or something like that and it's also a last name of an actor but it should mean something like passion/strength. It should be like hope and faith...and firth. *nods*

I wanna kiss a girl

Well... I don't. I am a girl, and I don't swing that way. I also don't do cliches. But thanks to Keith Urban I walk around saying that I do. I really don't like it when really catchy songs have lyrics that aren't really appropriate for everyone to sing, there should be a law regarding this. Thou shalt only make songs with a universal narrator catchy. Yeah! OK, so someone get on that, because I wanna kiss a girl.

The Bucket was Broken but the Water was Pure

...

Sharing

Why do people feel the need to share their love stories in the comments of a song that talks about something similar to what happened to them? I think it is the funniest thing to read "people always say we should be a couple, and we laugh it off, what he doesn't know is that I wish we were" or "I was listening to this song with my friend once and he asked me if i ever felt like this and i blushed and he kissed me and we've been together ever since". I would definitely call myself a romantic, I enjoy cheesy and sappy movies and stories and songs but for some reason I think it's just so ridiculous to read people commenting about how their little hearts relate to the song. It sort of makes me want to say "I don't care about your love life".

What to do?

The devastation in Japan is horrible. It is so sad what is happening there. I live thousands of miles away. So what am I to do. Of course there is donating money to the red cross, but besides that. Life elsewhere cannot stop because of what happened but it is hard to go on as if nothing is happening. It feels ignorant to just move on. But what would happen if we stopped for every tragedy? Wouldn't the world always be at a standstill? When you are in the middle of if all you hope and pray that people out there remember about you and will help. But when you are outside of it, you give money, donate some supplies and hope someone else will help those people otherwise. The show must go on. You have to go to work, you have to go to school. You probably shouldn't stop seeing your friends or doing fun things or working out. It's the hard reality of the world, while somewhere someone is in pain and needs help, elsewhere people are going on about their lives. Are they bad people even if they donate? What should they be doing?

Lindsay

So what I am wondering is why does Lindsay insist on wearing sexy secretary outfits to court. Does she just want us to talk about her? Has she heard from someone that the judge likes women dressed in sexy clothes? Am I watching too many courtroom TV shows?

WANTED

WHAT: Sunshine.

DESCRIPTION: warm, soothing, bright, calming, delightful.

WHEN: Immediately

Babies and Hats

What happened to parents dressing their babies for winter? I mean just because they cannot walk or talk it does not mean that they don't need hats, scarves and mittens. It seriously makes me mad when I see tiny little babies with no hats and exposed necks while everything around is covered in snow and the wind is blowing and the parents are dressed in their puffiest puffy jacket and they're wearing hats and scarves and mittens! It should be legal for others to smack those people in the face with a cast iron pan. I know that people don't like others to tell them how to parent and I understand why but sometimes it seems like they're just asking for strangers to intervene for the good of the society.

If I what? Then you'll what?

I was a teenager when this song came out. I was their target audience. I didn't understand what the song was about. I mean I understood one meaning of those words but I thought it couldn't possibly be about that. They wouldn't play a song about that during daytime on a tween/teen tv show. As it turns out, they did.

Juicing

Yeah I juice! Well, I do drink juice occasionally. I also eat meat quite regularly, does that mean I meat? I adore cheese, so I guess I cheese as well. I tea and water several times a day. I try to egg regularly but I like my eggs fancy so sometimes I am to lazy to make them. But almost every day since I was little, I have sandwiched. I sandwich all the time, in all sorts of ways. Open faced, closed, cold, and warm. Doubles, triples, you name it, I sandwich it.

I mean seriously though, I hate the term "juicing", just say you drink juice.

The tale of a lonely sock

One always goes missing.

Always together you and I

we were a team

I went where you did and you where I

until one day it all changed.

Washing machine, that evil thing

it's filled with trolls- everyone knows.

I came back home and you were gone

never again did I see you.

Alone, forever, in this cold drawer.

Wombat

Wombats are adorable. I want one.

Red Not-All-That-Hot

A lot of people were loving Jennifer Lawrence's dress on the red carpet. It was from Calvin Klein Collection which had a lot success on past red carpets during this award season. I gotta say I don't agree. I mean she looked great, sexy not slutty and age appropriate ( I think, I don't actually know how old she is, I'll look it up later, but she looks young and the dress is young). The dress is also nice, but if she wore that dress to the beach she would still look appropriate and you don't want your Oscars dress to work as a beach dress too. I like that the dress is simple, Jennifer has the kind of body that allows her to make simple become sexy. I do not like the top though. It's all in the cut, I think it looks like a Jersey maxi dress you would throw over your bikini (the top of it, the rest of the dress hugs her body just right). I wish it was a sort of a V-neck or had wide straps or something...else. Overall it was a great look but the top just made it a bit too casual looking for me.

Hate

You know what I hate? When you're washing the dishes and you turn on the water to rinse them and the water splashes in your face. Yeah, that. I hate that. Well maybe not hate, I don't like to use the word hate. I prefer to save it for people like Hitler, Gadhafi, and Rush Limbaugh. (Just kidding about the last one, or am I?...)